The Life Wave - Couples Counselling
What leads some loving partners to constant conflict and/or into alienation? Or even to an incapability of finding acceptable solutions to issues and challenges that trouble them? Why, despite their desire to be together and the constant (and often painful) efforts, two people that have shared more or less years of common living, end up separating?
Everyone, without an exception, has learnt from childhood to follow specific ways of thinking and predetermined communication motifs. Still, it is exceptionally rare a person's way of thinking and communicating to be fully aligned with another's. Especially when that other person is the significant other one in our lives, our companion, the "distance" between a point of view and that of our partner's, may lead easily to an emotional confrontation, followed by distancing, conflict and finally the crack of the relationship.
So, what is the key to avoid all of the above?
Healthy communication in the couple.
Through the counselling process and the assistance of a trained counsellor, companions learn to gradually recognise their way of thinking and where it stems from, respect their partner's different way of thinking, communicate their needs in a concise and non-aggressive (neither passive-aggressive) way and ask what they want from the other. Because, as the father of cognitive therapy, Aaron Beck, said “Love is not enough”.
Α couple's counsellor is not a referee or judge to decide who is right, even though some clients have precisely this expectation. Often enough, the couple's counselling is the step just before separation, a condition that seems so unthinkable, yet releasing. In couples counselling we seek a common Language or otherwise the “keys” of TOGETHER.
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